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Boston Craigslist Ad of the Day
ouch!
Posted in Around Town, Craigslist Tagged Boston, Craigslist, free, invitations, wedding Leave a comment
Celtics/Lakers: Holy Crap What a Game!
someone get this baby a bib
Game 1: Ray Allen had to sit almost the whole thing cuz of horrible foul calls.
Game 2: Ray Allen went off with eight 3′s. Paul Pierce sits with foul trouble due to terrible calls.
Game 3: Ray Allen goes 0-everything and the Celts still were only down by 2 in the 4th quarter. COULD HAVE WON THIS GAME!
Then last night. For the first time, the refs aren’t noticeable (which is a good thing), but now the Celts can’t make a friggin layup! First 3 quarters The C’s are somehow not down by 30. Just hanging around. Then, miraculously, Big Baby and Nate Robinson, along with the rest of the bench mob, bail the starters out.
YEESH. My blood-pressure was goin off.
Ray-Ray finally made a jumper in the 4th quarter… so here’s to hoping he can hit a shot in Game 5…
Pierce finally taking out his frustrations on the refs.
What is This Fannypack Garbage!?
“is your crotch hungry, girl? cuz it’s eating your pants.”
Brilliant!
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged Camel Toe, fannypack, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, So Stylistic Leave a comment
Bieber Booted from Lux Level at Patriot Place!
Our favorite teen-aged, Canucklehead friend, Justin Bieber, rocked that crap out of Gillette Stadium alongside Taylor Swift Saturday night, but it was his actions prior that is getting all the attention. Boston.com writes:
Justin Bieber, who performed with Taylor Swift at Gillette Stadium on Saturday night, was kicked out of the Lux Level seating area at the Showcase Cinema de Lux at Patriot Place on Saturday afternoon during a screening of the Russell Brand-Jonah Hill movie “Get Him to the Greek.”
Bieber, who was with his bodyguard and his manager “Scooter” Braun, bought a general admission seat for “Greek” but snuck up to the Lux Level seating area, which is reserved for 21-plus patrons. Once a manager spotted him, Bieber was sent back to the general admission section. The “One Time” and “Baby” singer apparently told the manager he was frustrated that as a 16-year-old, he can go to Chuck E. Cheese, which sells alcohol, but he can’t get into the special section of a movie theater.
Oh for crissakes, let the boy into the friggin’ LUX LEVEL! He’s Justin Fucking Bieber!
But seriously, this is just another example of Justin acting out. He has also been prank calling Miley at 3am! OMG!
In other news, our “Lustin Bieber” shirts are flying off the goddamn shelves.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged calls, Chuck E. Cheese, Get Him to the Greek, Gillette, Hannah Montana, Justin Bieber, kicked out, lustin, Lux, Miley Cyrus, Patriot Place, prank, shirt, t-shirts, Taylor Swift Leave a comment
Music Monday – Is Eminem Back??!11
Eminem and Status Quo put out a banging mix tape recently, and this is a very good thing. No more shitty Eminem – he’s back to his old style and dropping rhymes like a champ. These beats are fantastic as well. All around great songs on this mixtape. Enjoy!
oldjames has some thoughts:
In typical Eminem form, the first radio single (the new “I’m not afraaaaid” or whatevah) gets annoying after the 2nd chorus. Each album he’s done, the first single BLOWS or is annoying, or both:
- “my name is”
- “real slim shady” (please stand up)
- “it’d be so empty without me” (subtitle should be real slim shady Part II – in retrospect, probably the worst of the bunch)
- “grab a bottle / let ya body wobble / don’t act like a sloppy model, you just hit the lotto” (whatever that last one was called)
- and now “I’m not afraid,” the message of which I like, but it’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer.
Smart marketing. He knows he needs a catchy single to headline each new record, and the darker / realer / more heartfelt songwriting is mostly in the other cuts on the album.
English be too hard
Recently, the National Spelling Bee came to Washington, DC, but it didn’t come with an entirely happy welcome. Surprisingly, people went to protest THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. Associated Press Article:
“Our alphabet has 425-plus ways of putting words together in illogical ways,” Mahoney said.
The protesting cohort distributed pins to willing passers-by with their logo, “Enuf is enuf. Enough is too much.”
According to literature distributed by the group, it makes more sense for “fruit” to be spelled as “froot,” “slow” should be “slo,” and “heifer” — a word spelled correctly during the first oral round of the bee Thursday by Texas competitor Ramesh Ghanta — should be “hefer.”
Now, I can see their point of English having difficult parts… but.. does that mean we should revert to Ebonics? Everyone would just make up new spellings for everything and we’d have 5 spellings for every word longer than 5 letters. I’ve seen dumbasses like this before, so I’m really not surprised that they just want things to change so they can understand it. If you are too lazy to learn English, try this maybe. I understand that the words used in spelling bees are archaic and “ten cent words”, but that’s because it’s a challenge. If you can’t help that, then go find another way to watch kids struggle and fail, like watching your kids read or go to a job interview. English is hard, but maybe you should consider the alternatives, not to mention the increasing diversity of America, soon you will have to know more than one language to become successful. Maybe you should get off your lazy ass and read a book or put some effort into an education, because this time, you are wrong, and everyone hates you.
CELTICS/LAKERS GAME 1: IT’S ON!
I don’t know if there’s a better rivalry than Celtics vs. Lakers. It was Wilt, Baylor, and West vs. Russell and Cousy, Magic vs. Bird, Shaq vs. Montross, and now Kobe vs. The Big 3.
The history’s of the two franchises is simply stunning. At least one of the two teams have been in the Finals 39 of 63 years. Together, they hold more than half (32) of the championships ever handed out. The C’s have 17 titles, and the Minneapolis/Los Angeles Lakers have a measly 15.
Anyways, it all tips off tonite. 9pm EST.
To get geared up, check out this dope music video/montage of Magic vs. Bird clips. It all started when they were in college. Magic beat Larry in the title game, and the rivalry would spill over into the pros from there.
This video was on an old VHS I had growing up. I swear I played that thing until the tape broke.
Stick around after the 4:30 mark for the Notorious BIG rapping about Danny Ainge!
Posted in Sports Tagged Boston, Celtics, Danny Ainge, Finals 2010, Glenn Frey, Jerry West, Lakers, Larry Bird, Los Angeles, Magic Johnson, Minneapolis, NBA Jam Session, Notorious BIG, Part of Me, Part of You, rivalry, Wilt Leave a comment
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW – Adrienne LaValley, the “National Floors Direct” Chick!
You know, people keep asking me “Hey mr. obbs, how the F are you going to follow up Fannypack Ninjas’ interview with Twitter-god, DRUNKHULK?” And I would always reply with a swift judo-kick to the groin. They didn’t know what I had up my sleeve!
Adrienne LaValley, perhaps most-known for her unique ability to make buying flooring for your home sound incredibly alluring and sexy in those ubiquitous tv commercials, graciously agreed to sit down with me and enlighten our readers with her thoughts on some of today’s hot-button topics.
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Alrighty then, let’s get started.
Adrienne, we all know that you know your stuff when it comes to flooring. What type of flooring do you have in YOUR apartment?
I have an apartment in Manhattan and it has lovely hardwood floors. Unfortunately, this forces you to buy one of those fix-it pens for every single scratch… in hopes of getting your security deposit back. Some of my first apartments here in my ‘scrounging for rent’ days included the grossest, smelliest builders carpet you’ve ever laid your eyes on. It’s amazing what landlords deem habitable round these parts.
I noticed on your resume that you are an “accurate gum spitter.” Is this true? How did you determine this?
Yes! I have amazing accuracy both with vertical spitting and projectile shots to the garbage. I found this out by walking down Park Avenue in a cocktail dress and heels, spitting my gum up in the air and catching it in my mouth. I practice often… usually when no one’s watching or when I’m jogging in the park and I spit in a garbage can. Then I throw my arms up in the air like Rocky and cheer myself on for a few steps…then I remember why I don’t have a boyfriend and put my arms down.
I also noticed you have quite a bit of theater and singing experience. Do you have a preference between stage and screen?
I love both. I was trained in theatre and dance then studied film performance in grad school. I love the intimacy and subtlety of film acting, but I also love making people laugh right in front of me. There’s no other feeling like it. You hope that someone who’s had a really bad day will pee their pants laughing and only remember that last part of the day, instead of the crappy part.
Who, in your opinion, is the biggest Boston hunk?– Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Marky Mark, or Bobby Brown?
I’m attracted to talent and brains… so Matt Damon, hands down. Although I must admit I know every word to ‘Good Vibrations’ and would have given a much different answer in middle school. Also Marky Mark’s abs ARE redonkulous… I’d like to touch them.
I agree. Anywhoo, if you could have dinner with any 3 people in history, who would they be and why? and what would the main course be?
Michael Jackson… I’m pretty sure I could figure out from one dinner what kind of person he ACTUALLY is.
Amelia Earhart…I used to want to be a pilot and I want to know what REALLY happened. Where’d you disappear to, lady? Are you just enjoying Pina Colada’s on an island somewhere and the jokes on us?
Martha Graham… she’s a pioneer of modern dance and I studied her technique since I was about 7. I’d just like to sit in her presence for awhile. I don’t think we’d actually have to speak.
Steak… always steak. Medium rare.
Interesting choices! Ok, if you could abolish or rewrite one law, what would it be, and why?
Absolutely legalize gay marriage. Seriously, who are we to tell ANYONE who they can love, marry or share a bank account with? Heterosexual divorce rates are about 50% now, right?… maybe they’ll have a better go at it!
Seriously. It’s legal here in Mass, so we’ve got that goin for us- which is nice. Now, let’s pretend you are a Fannypack Ninja for a moment. What is something you would always keep in your fannypack?
Silly Putty. 3 reasons: creativity, squishiness and newspaper imprints.
And you can make it into a bouncy-ball! What an invention. I bet it could even plug the oil spill, for cripes sake. Next question: What is the last movie you saw in a theater? If you could give it a one-sentence review for our readers who may not have seen it yet, what would it be?
Avatar. The final nail in the coffin on the debate of humans versus mother nature… Also, it’s the future of film making.
It was certainly a visually breath-taking work. Do you consider yourself more a Wheel Watcher, or a Jeopardy fan?
Absolutely Jeopardy. I especially like it when I don’t know a single answer the entire game and then win Final Jeopardy. Instant redemption.
Haha noice. I tried out for Wheel awhile back, but didn’t get picked. 
Oh well. As a proud alumna of the University of Buffalo, I’m sure you got to watch your share of Bills games. Who would you say is your favorite Bills player (past or present)?
Gonna have to go with Jim Kelly on that one. He does so many great things for the community. His summer football camp gives kids the chance to meet the players and work with coaches they may play under in high school. He offers scholarships for kids who can’t quite afford it and after dating a guy that coached there I saw how much it meant to the kids to go every year.
Welp, I think that about wraps things up. Where can we expect to see you next? Upcoming movies/shows/more tv ads?
Yeah! I star in a movie coming out in the fall called ‘Opponent‘ with Roddy Piper and Jeremy London and I’ll be the new spokesperson for Paul Masse car dealerships in New England. Those commercials should be out in a month or so. By the way… the new corvette is VERY sexy. Black with tan interior please. 
Well, there you have it! Some pretty awesome answers doled out by someone you probably see a lot, but really don’t know that much about. Isn’t that interesting!?
I want to thank Adrienne for taking the time to answer our silly little questions. Keep an eye out for her upcoming stuff, and, for the meantime, check her out in BACK-to-BACK-to-BACK AAU National Championships *ahem* back-to-back-to-back National Floors Direct commercials below.
I still can’t get over that 3-room-for-$888 deal… unreal!
read another interview: Myq Kaplan, comedian on Last Comic Standing.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged abs, Adrienne LaValley, ads, Amelia Earhart, Avatar, commercials, Direct, DRUNKHULK, Floors, gay marriage, interview, Jeremy London, Jim Kelly, Mark Wahlberg, Marky Mark, Martha Graham, Matt Damon, Michael Jackson, National, Opponent, Roddy Piper, same sex marriage 7 Comments
MUSIC MONDAY: Mary J. Blige’s take on “Whole Lotta Love”
Most of you ninjas out there have heard Mary J. Blige’s recent covers of Led Zeppelin classics “Stairway To Heaven” and “Whole Lotta Love.” Old James firmly believes in the time-honored tradition of classic cover tunes – Stevie Ray Vaughn’s take on the Hendrix classic “Little Wing” still sends chills down my spine – but I have to draw the line here. MJB’s cover “Whole Lotta Love” is by no means unlistenable, but they missed the boat on executing it in the studio.
Before you get all flabberghasted and start storming out of your cube to come down to FPN headquarters and hit me over the head with a ladle, I am a fan of Mary J. Blige. Her voice is one of the true gems in the music world. She is a survivor of the record industry bullshit, and she is still relevant after all these years. Her vocals on each song are very well done; I just can’t stand the instrumentation and arrangement.
First of all, if you’re covering Led Zep, it would make a lot of sense to use REAL DRUMS. John Bonham, arguably the greatest ROCK drummer of all time, and may he rest in peace, probably isn’t too psyched about hearing these two tracks cooked up with drum machine wizardry. There’s a time and a place. I understand the intent here was to make a dance version of this song a couple BPM faster than the original, but there are any number of drummers who could have nailed the dance groove using wooden drums, the way God intended. While I’m not a Jimmy Page devotee, he is damn good, and whoever picked up guitar duty that day in the studio did not do him justice.
So “Whole Lotta Love” starts in with an industrial-sounding crunchy guitar. You can get that sound running a $20 distortion pedal directly into a Radio Shack PA system. PLUG IT INTO A MARSHALL for chrissakes! For all I know, John Q. Guitarist was using a Marshall, only effed up along the way by various gizmos and studio garbage. Sounds like Rammstein.
The mini-interlude is cool, it goes with the dance/techno/club motif; nice and trippy. The guitar solo sounds much better than the main riff. The “waaay down insiiiiiide….YOU NEED” part has some great guitar sounds as well. They definitely should have used this same setup for the main riff: real tube crunch. Les Paul meets Marshall, an electricity that can’t be imitated. Humbuckers, the thick wood body of that guitar. The signal travels to the tubes and just SINGS through the speakers. The song would work a whole lot better if this infallible formula had been followed throughout. BUT NO, back to the Nine Inch Nails-German-discoteche-break-a-beer-bottle-over-someone’s-head crunchy sound comes back, and mercifully the song is over.
The song was produced by RedOne, who has worked with Akon and Lady Gaga. So, RedOne, next time you want to work classic-sounding guitar into your tracks, stick to what has always worked, and what will always work. Guitar + amp = great sound. If the idea was to do a dance version, then use synth for the whole thing; don’t tease me with just the solo. It actually would have sounded better with some whacky distorted analogue bass synth. Maybe have the guy from Mahavishnu Orchestra or that geek from Yellowcard use their violin for the guitar solo. Better yet, have Poindexter from Revenge Of The Nerds come through for that part.
All in all, Mary’s voice is as good as ever. Jimmy Page, Bonzo’s son Jason, and John Paul Jones are all alive. She should have gotten them into the studio to jam this one out with her on vocals instead. Of course, Robert Plant would have gotten pissed and insisted on it being a duet. Hey, there’s an idea; that would sound pretty good! It worked with U2 when she did “One” with them; came out great actually. I’m sure Led Zeppelin has designs on touring again, perhaps they should invite Mary J. Blige along. Someone start a movement on Facebook or Twitter or something. Get MTV involved. Rise up and emancipate yourselves from dance versions of Led Zeppelin.